Rules...

You often hear parents say "there isn't a manual telling you how to raise kids". That is a lie. We all leave the hospital or the CLSC with the practical guide to raising kids ages 0 to 2. Some parents even go to chapters/indigo and spend hours searching for that perfect book that reflects their values and beliefs. So we all have a certain sense of what is good and what is or isn't appropriate. For example, time-outs are good, spankings are bad. It's simple logic. But what happens when the rules just don't apply to your situation? See, in my situation, I have to spoil my child. I have to stop everything and hug the devil out of him when he is having a fit in the middle of a Wal-Mart. I sometimes have to give him ice cream before his supper. And it even gets dipped in chocolat. When I found out that motherhood had thrown me a curve ball and that autism was now part of my life, the best advice I got was from my sister. She told me that from now on the rules don't apply to me anymore. There is the normal way of dealing with children and there will be my way of dealing with Liam. That sentence has kept me grounded and almost guilt free for a year now.Not only do rules not apply to us, but they can't be applied.  I am allowed to use whatever trick I can find as long as it works for my situation. I can easily get away with saying stuff like that because I have papers stating that my son is handicapped. But what about the other mothers who also got their share of curve balls? My friends who have multiples, twins and triplets? My friends who work and go to school at the same time? My friends who are single moms? Do they feel the pressure of "the rules"? Here is my one and only rule for the unexpected: Do whatever has to be done to give the best to your child. Even if it means breaking the rules and having people point a few fingers. Let's be the mavericks of motherhood. Hell, we should even get the t-shirt. So if you see a woman sitting on the floor in between the toy department and the DVDs rocking her crying son because he can't have the Star Wars gun, she is probably not rewarding bad behaviour. She might just be one of those people who can't live life by "the rules".